Goodbye Charlie
by Batya
Summary: ok basically its greatest hits and through the looking glass from CHarlie's point of view . rated T for character death and swearing
1. Chapter 1

**This is what I think Charlie was thinking during greatest hits and im gonna do the season finale also**

**Disclaimer: don't own lost :(**

"This time Charlie, you have to die" Desmond said to him. Charlie stared at Desmond as the slow realization hit…

_If I don't die…Claire and Aaron won't get off the island..._ and the minute he realized that was when he realized that he wouldn't and couldn't try and stop it. He was going to face his death willingly. He was going to die so that Claire could get off the island.

Later he walked back over to Claire's tent.

He had just volunteered to swim down into the hatch and flick the switch unjamming signals sent off the island.

But now he gave Claire his best fake smile

"Need some help?" She looked at him with a frown

"Why didn't you tell me you were gonna do this?" She demanded. He sighed and sat down next to her. At least at this part he could be honest, he hated lying to her

"I didn't want you to worry" He said

"It's dangerous isn't it? Swimming into some underwater station" he nearly flinched, knowing how on the mark she was but he stopped himself

"It's what needs to be done to get us all rescued"

_That's a bit of truth _

"I'll be fine Claire"

_Lie…I'm such a bloody liar _

"But you've gotta promise me something, while I'm gone don't worry about me" His expression was dead serious as he looked deeply into her eyes

_Now would be the time to tell you how much I love you Claire…But I can't_

"Ok" she looked down for a moment and then made eye contact again

_God I'm going to miss those eyes…_He thought with the heaviest wave of grief as he looked at her. Just then the baby began to cry

"I'll take him" Charlie said

_And another goodbye…_

"Thanks" She said quietly. He took the baby and smiled down at him, Claire smiled too as Charlie stood and walked to his crib

"All right turnip head" He whispered to him as he set him down into the crib

"You take care of your mom while I'm away ok" He bent down over the crib and let Aaron reach up and touch his face with his tiny hands. Charlie stood there feeling his heart break as he stared at the baby that he had grown to love.

"I love you" it took all his will power not to cry as he turned away from the crib and faced Claire, to say goodbye.

He sat down in front of Claire and smiled genuinely thinking of how much he loved her and all the good times they had together…and the smile faltered as he realized there would be no more after this. He quickly looked down to hide his expression and nodded.

"See you soon"

_Lie_

Claire nodded and paused her folding clothes. She looked down as if trying to think of what to say

"Be careful Charlie k?"

_I wish I could_

"Yea"

_I'm such a liar…and I lie to the people I love the most…_

He wanted to say it…right then…all he wanted to say was

'Claire I love you'

If he could say those four words he could die with a little peace knowing that she knew that…but he looked up at her, and when she looked up at him...he knew he couldn't say it…instead he leaned forward and kissed her hoping to let his lips convey what he could not.

As they parted all he could think was

_This is it, last kiss, last look, this is the last everything_

Then she smiled at him and he knew he was doing the right thing no matter how much it hurt him…and he smiled back, a real smile. Then he stood up and walked away

_Goodbye Claire_

Even though he was doing the right thing…it hurt so badly. He could feel his heart splintering as he began to push the boat out to sea with Desmond.

"Hey! Hey wait!" It was Hurley running over.

"What is it?" Charlie demanded

"I heard, I heard what your doing I want to come with"

_You can't come this is a suicide mission…_ he thought meanwhile Hurley plowed on

"everyone… they're going to the radio tower…and I'm sick of trekking, and you know…explosions and…. I think I could help you guys out…" Charlie thought his heart couldn't break anymore but he wrong again, as he stood and watched the guy who had become his best friend try to come up with a reason to join them

"And I'm a really good paddler" he offered lamely. Charlie looked down sadly

"You can't go Hurley" He told him

"Why not?" Hurley asked

"Because…"

_What am I going to tell him?_ He thought as he glanced at the boat and a horrible inspiration struck him

"Your to big, you wont fit in the boat!" Charlie burst out and then immediately regretted it seeing Hurley's wounded expression

"That's not cool man" he said as he turned to go

_I can't let it end on bad terms…_

"Wait, wait, wait!" he called out as he ran over to Hurley and wrapped his arms around him.

"Dude its fine I don't even want to go in your stupid boat" Hurley muttered and Charlie couldn't help but smile

"Catch up with you later," Charlie held him at arms length

"Just know that I love you" He said

_God I'm going to miss you_

"Yea whatever I love you too" Hurley muttered as he walked away and Charlie watched him go with a sad smile

He then helped Desmond push the boat into the water, and pull it towards their destination. All Charlie could think was: _this is the end, this is it_

"We're here" Desmond's voice shook him out of his reverie. He had been writing down his five best moments. It was all he could think of to give to Claire, his last words to her. He only hoped it would mean something to her, and maybe ease the pain he would cause her. And tell her how much he loved her

After all, the best moment of his life was meeting her.

"I want you to give this to Claire for me" He said to Desmond handing him the paper

"What is it?" Desmond asked

"It's the five best moments…of my sorry excuse for a life"

_Don't you dare cry Charlie _he said to himself

"…my greatest hits" He finished with an attempt at a smile…but the smile didn't work and he realized the last person he would ever talk to was sitting with him now.

"You know memories are all I've got?" Desmond seemed to be taking it all in and finally he said

"You don't have to do this Charlie"

"What?" That had gotten his attention

"I'll go" Desmond said simply

"No your…flashes" Charlie said feebly

"Maybe I keep seeing you die because…I'm supposed to take your place" that hit him for a six.

_Desmond is going to die for me? What? That cant happen it wont work! And then there's…_

"What about your girl…Penny"

"What about your girl?" he asked, and seeing His hesitation Desmond handed him back the note

"Keep your memories to yourself…I'll take it from here"

"I don't know what to say"

_Yes I do! I'm the one who is supposed to die…nobody can change that…isf he died…I would still die…I cant let him throw his life away_

"Why don't you tell where the weight belt is?" Desmond suggested

"It's behind you" Charlie lied, and the moment he turned Charlie picked up an oar and hit Desmond upside the head. He fell unconscious and Charlie gently place him back in the boat…placing the note in his pocket

"You have hope now… you're not supposed to take my place brother" He then walked to the end of the boat and stood there for a moment.

He was facing his death

_This is it…my last moments… _He began to cry thinking of everybody he would never see again…but he reminded himself that Claire would get off the island because of this. He would get her off this island. And with that he dove in the water.

He swam and was beginning to lose air when he found a place he could come up for air. He broke the surface gasping.

_I'm alive, I lived_

He was so happy he wasn't going to die. He clambered up a ladder and lay on the ground gasping

"I'm alive" he whispered

"I'M ALIVE!" he yelled joyfully. And in came to women with guns. The guns were pointed at him. he stared at the two and raised his hands in the air

_Crap_

**Ok this is greatest hits and I'm gonna do the season finale too…**


	2. Chapter 2

**I would like to say that this was written to be therapeutic for me…I gt very attached to fictional characters and I loved Charlie so this is my goodbye to one of the best characters of LOST…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own LOST or Charlie**

He was punched in the face again; the force of it jerked his head back. He rolled his head forward with his face screwed up in pain. His face was covered in his own blood. His two tormentors, two women, circled him coming to a stop in front of him. the brunette sat down while the blond continued to circle him

"Who are you?" she asked, and of course he didn't answer.

"Look if you tell us how you got down here we wont hurt you" the brunette said reasonably. He nodded.

"I came in my invisible submarine don't you see it" his voice dripped with sarcasm. The blond punched him again.

"Hey! Take it easy!" the brunette exclaimed

"Take it easy, he's one of them," She replied

"Why are you here? Hmm? How did you find out about this station?" the blond demanded. Charlie glared at her

_May as well make some trouble for the others before I go…_

"Juliet told us, she's one of us now," he began to smile

"In case you haven't heard." That earned him another blow to the face,

_If I survive this…_ But he interrupted the thought before it could continue…he wasn't going to survive and he shouldn't even go there.

_If I start to hope I'll lose my nerve_

"Stop! We gotta call Ben" the brunette said

"Yea" Charlie agreed sarcastically as he spat blood onto the floor

"Let's call Ben" The blonde looked like she wanted to hit him again but instead she walked away saying over her shoulder,

"Come on" They opened a door and walked into a room that had a flashing yellow light on the wall. Charlie awkwardly turned his chair to see the room and spotted the light.

_The yellow light! _ He thought, and then he recalled Desmond's words to him,

"_You're inside a room full of equipment there's a blinking yellow light above a switch you flick the switch light goes off… and you drown" _He looked away, wide-eyed

_My time is coming to an end… _meanwhile the girls were using a walkie talkie

"Come in Ben"

"Hello?" Ben said into the walkie talkie

"Ben? Are you there can you hear me Ben?"

"Why are you breaking radio silence?" Ben asked

"One of them is down here"

"I'm sorry what?"

"We have to find out why he's here; one of them swam down here

"Who? Which one?"

"He won't tell us" At that Charlie couldn't resist calling out:

"It's Charlie, tell him I said hi" his tone was cheery and it only confused the girls more.

"How—how does he know about the station" Ben asked tightly

"He said Juliet told them" they replied

"All right sit tight I'm sending help" Ben told them before he signed off. The girls then put down the walkie talkie and walked back into the room. The blonde sat facing Charlie. He slowly looked at her

"I'm gonna ask you this one more time, why are you here?" She demanded, he leaned back and sighed

"I'm here…to turn off your jamming equipment, in there" he nodded towards it

"Next to the flashing yellow light"

"How do you know about that?" the brunette asked

"I know because I know," he said with certainty

"Whatever you ladies do to me I'm going to turn it off" he continued

"You are huh?" The blond said incredulously

"I most definitely am" Charlie replied

"Alright then, what's the code" She asked humoring him

"What?"

"Charlie if you're going to turn off the jamming equipment your going to need the code." She stated with exasperation

"And only three people know it" He turned to her

"Me, her, and Ben"

_A code? Well how do I figure out the code? _

"Well I guess I won't need the code since this entire station is going to be flooded anyway…" they looked at him with disbelief.

"I just turn off your little jammer, and then the helicopters come and rescue all my friends" he smiled at the last part as he thought of Claire raising Aaron in a proper home rather than an island. He felt a pang when he reminded himself he wouldn't be there to see it.

"But if this station floods…what happens to you?" She asked slowly. He turned to her with a knowing grin faded slightly

_I'll never see Claire again…but she and Aaron will be safely gone…_ that thought kept a bittersweet version of his former grin on his face

"I die" He stated simply. The girls stared at him with disbelief, they were more than a little unnerved by his calm. But the blond maintained eye contact…her face said it all

'_Your insane' _her eyes said to him, and his look replied

'_You better believe it'_ and with that the blonde stood up, now completely perturbed and the two walked into that room and shut the door. They argued in there and Charlie watched with curiosity …until suddenly of all people Desmond swam up out of the water. He came up gasping for air, and all Charlie could think was

_SHIT!_

"Des? Des!" Charlie called as quietly as he could while he turned his chair to face Desmond

"Charlie! Bloody hell! You all right?" He asked

"Not for long if you don't get out of here" Charlie's voice was full of foreboding.

_You can't be here. I'm going to die not you! Go now..._his mind was in turmoil…he had almost made his peace with his own death but Charlie could not let others die with him.

"Hide Des, hide! Hide in there hide, hide, go, go, go, hide, hide, hide." Desmond git the idea and ran to a closet hiding inside

The girls heard the commotion and came out to see what was going on.

"Who are you talking to?" The blonde demanded

"Not talking to anybody I'm singing…" he lied

"You all everybody" they ignored him and looked around the room

"You all everybody" the blonde took a step in the direction of the closet where Desmond was hiding

"You all everybody"

_Don't go to the closet! _He prayed desperately

"You all everybody" she walked towards him and punched him again

"Shut up" She told him

"Right ok" Charlie relented easily, thankful they didn't find Desmond

"Come on" The brunette said, and they walked back into the room.

Desmond watched the bound Charlie through the slits in the locker. His mind was racing. Meanwhile…Charlie was trying to figure out a way to get Desmond out before the place flooded. He turned to glance at the girls and they glared at him, then he turned and looked in Desmond's direction

_How am I going to get him out?_

They were in a stalemate…they all just sat there having no options. Charlie started singing again for the hell of it. He was hoping that maybe she would tell him the code to shut him up.

Desmond watched in disbelief

"AH! I told you to shut up!" The blond cried out, she was close to her breaking point.

"You know when you got a tune stuck in your head this song it just started coming to me I'm almost finished I just need to find the bridge" he was enjoying himself as best he could.

She slammed down her gun and stood up.

"Get the spear gun" She said

"Why?" The brunette queried

"Because I want it to hurt" the blond stood over him glaring and he glared back, eyes narrowed

"No Ben said—" The brunette protested

"You don't want to get it then I will" She began to head right for the closet where Desmond was hiding. Desmond braced himself

"Bonnie…" she sighed.

_She's gonna find him! Shit!_

"Oy! Hey! No I-I'll shut up, I'll shut up, I'll shut up"

Just then a man swam up and his head broke the surface. He was wearing scuba equipment and everyone in the room stared at Micael as he took in his surroundings.

"Micael"

"I thought you to were on an assignment in Canada" He said to them as they continued to stare. He began to take off the scuba gear and get out of the water when the brunette said:

"He made us promise not to tell anybody"

"Hello again" Charlie said with mock manners

"Where is the other one?" Micael demanded

"What?"

"This idiot swam down from a boat I was just shooting at his friend, he dove down here"

_Well you missed you bastard_ Charlie thought triumphantly

"He's alone" The girl said

"Are you sure about that?" Micael advanced on Charlie with a knife in hand

"Here's a better question to ask Cyclops," Charlie asked with sarcasm ignoring the knife why did your little friend Ben tell you people that this entire station is flooded when it isn't or why these two have been jamming all signals that came off the island" Charlie knew enough to cause problems and figured he may as well. Then a beeping noise issued form the other room

"That's Ben"

"I'll get it" Micael said as he walked into the room and slammed the door. Everyone sat quietly trying to eavesdrop on the conversation.

Charlie took the moment to be glad that circumstances helped him keep Desmond hidden. And after what seemed to be an eternity the door opened and Micael walked back out.

"What did Ben say?" The brunette asked

"Can we kill him?" the blonde named Bonnie demanded

_Same to you! _Charlie thought as he glared at her. He was getting impatient. If he was going to die he wanted to get it over with.

"It's impossible to turn this equipment off" Micael stated ignoring their questions

"What?" The blond asked

"The equipment that's jamming the island can you turn it off?" Charlie looked at him with curiosity, he hadn't expected that.

"Sure, Ben gave us the code" The brunette answered uncertainly

"You are the only ones who have it?" Micael asked

"Yea, why?" Bonnie inquired

"What would happen if this station were to be flooded?" Micael asked glancing around.

Charlie felt a flutter a panic thinking he might be the one to cause the station to flood.

"Nothing the casing equipment is waterproof." The brunette answered

"Then why do you need to be here?" Micael asked, his tone calculating

"Because Ben told us to, we were following orders!" Bonnie said with a hint of anger at his questioning

"And you never asked why?" he asked

"No, because I trust him, and I trust Jacob, and the minute I start questioning orders this whole thing falls apart!" Bonnie said with conviction. Charlie watched the exchange with distrust, knowing what ever he did would not help Charlie in the slightest, and would probably hinder him further. Micael turned to the brunette

"She makes an excellent point" and with that he shot the brunette, she fell into the water.

Charlie's eyes widened…

_I cant' die yet! Don't turn the gun on me!_

Bonnie turned to run and Micael shot her in the back. She fell to the floor and he approached her with the gun at hand, she rolled over to face him. her face full of confusion and desperation

"No...please"she whispered

"I'm sorry Bonnie" Micael said

"I too am following orders" and then before he could fire another shot, Desmond burst out of the closet with the spear gun in hand

"Hey!" He called, and as Micael turned Desmond shot him in the chest. He fell to the ground and Bonnie tried to reach for her gun. Desmond got it first and Charlie stopped him fro shooting

"No Des! We need her!"

_She knows the code! This is it!_

Desmond went and untied Charlie and Charlie ran over to Bonnie, knowing she didn't have much time left. He bent down in front of her

"Go away" she muttered

"Come on Bonnie, let's get this over with"

"She's not going to tell you brother" Desmond said

"Yes she's gonna tell me!" Charlie said

_She has to_

"What makes you say that?" Desmond inquired

"Because you said it's my destiny to turn of that jammer" Charlie stated before turning back to Bonnie

"Ok bonnie were gonna die down here lets be honest, a one eyed maniac just killed your friend and shot you in the back, it would appear that your glorious leader Ben put him up to it." She didn't respond

"You're a sodden idiot. you have the opportunity to make Ben very angry why would you not take that" She seemed to think about it and then she began to ramble off numbers"

"545…"

"What? is that the code?" he fumbled for a marker and found his sharpie

"Start again, start again," she kept rambling the numbers, it seemed like she couldn't hear him

"Start from the beginning, start again, Bonnie? Bonnie!"

"Vibrations" she gasped out

"What?"

"The beach boys, good vibrations," she took a labored breath

"On the keypad, the numbers, their notes" Charlie stared at her without comprehension "It was programmed by a musician" Charlie stared at her wide eyed as she breathed her last breath.

He looked at Desmond and Desmond stared back and then Charlie stared ahead with a sinking feeling.

_It really is my fate! I'm going to die…but there dead so maybe…_as much as he pretended he was ok with dying that he really wasn't. but he didn't let himself finish the thought.

Meanwhile they took care of those who were already dead. Pulling them out of the water, and putting cloth over there faces. Then Charlie approached Desmond…and as much as he tried to ignore it…he was beginning to hope. With the others dead there was nobody to cause the flood…

"Des, you think there's more oxygen in that mask?" He asked

"Aye plenty" Desmond replied

"Ok you take care of that and I'll tap out good vibrations" Charlie said clasping his arm. Then Desmond turned to go

"Hey Des?"

"Aye?"

"Have you had any flashes?" He couldn't disguise his hope now.

"No nothing" Desmond said with a smile. He realized too. With them dead and no new flashes…Charlie grinned

"I'll meet you back here then" he said

"Aye" Desmond said with a nod and Charlie turned and went into the room. He glanced at the yellow light and then found the keypad. He knew the song good vibrations and hummed the tune aloud before hitting the keys. He hit the proper notes and the light went off.

He grinned and turned to go when the machine beeped. He went back and saw that the incoming transmission button blinked red at him.

"Incoming transmission" he muttered with amazement. He pressed the button and a fuzzy picture came on the screen and he could faintly hear past the static

"Hello can you hear me?" Charlie grabbed the mike and spoke into it

"Yes I can hear you"

"Who am I speaking to?" She asked

"Charlie Pace, I'm a survivor of Oceanic flight 815, Oceanic flight 815" he said the last part slowly so she could hear it but at the moment his mind was so full with questions he could barely speak. He could barely make out the confusion on her face but it was visible through the static

"Uh…where are you?"

"We're on an island, we're alive"

"An island? Where? What's you location?"

"I don't know…Who's this?"

"This is Penelope, Penelope Ridgemoor…How did you get this frequency?" But Charlie didn't hear her last question.

_Penelope…Penny…Oh my god_

"Desmond? Desmond!?" Penelope stared at him with wide eyes

"Did you just say Desmond?"

"Yes he's here he's with me" Charlie was beginning to smile

"Is he ok?" She asked

"Yes, he's brilliant!" Charlie's grin widened at the thought of the touching reunion that was about to occur…then he remembered Naomi

"Hey are you on the boat?" he asked eagerly

"What boat?"

"Your boat its here 80 miles off shore…uh Naomi…parachutes"

"I'm not on a boat…who is Naomi?" Charlie's eyes widened

_If she isn't with Penny, even though she said something to the effect that she was…then who sent her here…what does she want with us…_

And the realization hit him that Naomi isn't safe

_Shit_

Meanwhile Desmond was looking around and noticed Micael's body was no longer on the floor…it was gone. Desmond turned to where Charlie sat in the room unaware of the danger he was in.

Charlie could feel his heart beat quicken as he thought…

_What if something bad happens to them? What if she does something bad?_

Just then there was a knock at the window. Charlie's heart leapt into his throat as he saw Micael through the window he was outside, and underwater.

He was holding a grenade.

He grinned manically at Charlie whose blue eyes widened in fear.

Then he pulled out the pin.

_SHIT!_

Charlie turned and saw Desmond running towards him. Charlie ran for the door and Desmond saw Penelope on the screen

"PENNY!"

Charlie slammed the door in his face, and quickly locked it. He turned back to Micael whose grin widened.

Then the bomb exploded

Water began pouring in at an alarming rate…

Charlie turned and faced the oncoming flood

"CHARLIE!" Desmond bellowed, he grabbed a nearby fire extinguisher and tried to bang the door in.

Charlie didn't hear the banging, or Penelope's continuing questions. The realization hit him

"_You flick the switch light goes off… and you drown"_

_This is it_

Time seemed to slow for him as the water reached up to his neck. Up until now he wasn't ok with his death, but suddenly it all seemed to fit together in his mind…Claire would be rescued thanks to him…and that was all that mattered.

But first he had to tell Desmond about Naomi, he grabbed out his Sharpie and scrawled on his hand.

_Not Penny's boat_

He pressed his hand against the glass. Desmond read the words and nodded to show he understood. Charlie nodded, knowing Desmond would take care of everything. But he kept his hand against the glass a moment longer. Desmond looked pained as he pressed his own hand against the glass.

He wanted to tell Charlie that he was probably the greatest man he ever knew…but it was too late for that. All he could do was stand there and see Charlie's last moments.

Charlie could feel his body crying out for air as he stared at Desmond…the man who over time had become his friend.

_Bye Des… _he thought with a smile. He smiled for Desmond too. He didn't want him to be sad.

His body needed air…he jerked away from the window as his vision began to fade

Faces flashed before his mind, the faces of all the people he would never see again.

His mom, his dad, Liam, Hurley, Desmond, Aaron, and…Claire

_Goodbye Claire…I love you_

And with that his vision turned dark and the darkness took him.

That was the day when Charlie Pace…former rock star, former drug addict, former brother to Liam, Former friend to Hurley and Desmond, former makeshift father to Aaron, and the former lover of Claire…

Died

**Goodbye Charlie we will miss you**


End file.
